Getting close to my first show, but the journey will never end!!

A famous lady once said, “The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.” Who was that lady? None other than the infamous Julia Child, the Goddess of that which is edible… A funny saying now, but I have a question for Mrs. Child, what if part of your diet food includes said steak?! BAM! What now Goddess of the kitchen?!
There are few times in life when something controls you. When something is so vital to your existence that once it is removed colors become dull, lights are all one color, colognes and perfumes begin to smell like prime rib, French fries and cheesecakes… It’s bad enough that I work in a restaurant, but to not be able to gorge on any of the wonderful delectable’s being served is something that can eat away at the average man…
But I am humbly not the average man… I am a man who has switched his diet more times than a street-walker changes partners, more times than a NASCAR driver changes tires… I have changed my diet more times than Lindsey Lohan has been to rehab… Each change was to serve a purpose, to push my body to the next level.
None of my previous diets have affected me with such force and tenacity like this one… I eat six times a day… For those of you normal people eating McDonald’s or In-N-Out right now… Eat this:

Meal One

2 scoops ISO 100 (protein), ¾ cup of oats

Meal Two

2.5 scoops of ISO 100

Meal Three

7 oz of Tilapia, 8 oz of green beans

Meal Four

7 oz of Tilapia, 8 oz of green beans

Meal Five

6 oz salmon, one green salad

Meal Six

10 egg whites

Never in my life have I felt so driven and so dedicated to push my self to new heights… There is nothing greater in life than finding a new gear… Much like the same way a car is shifted into another gear, my body has been shifted into third… Eating these foods has exploded my body into a weight lifting machine…
I am no longer just focused on my show… While it is still a HUGE focus of mine, the progress I have made in the last few weeks has geared my focus on the future… Not to my second show, or to two years down the road… Rather I am focused on where I will be in the next five to ten years…
Sure, I might be older than most guys in the gym ten years from now... But I can promise you that I will be the most dedicated and focus person in any gym I walk into… Besides those younger guys still have to look forward to losing their hair… That fear waved bye-bye to me long ago! I will continue to climb this mountain till my time on earth is done… Oh and one more thing, less hair = less resistance to wind during my cardio!

From the beginning of time people find things or people that inspire them… People such as Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr and Mother Theresa have been known to inspire people all over the world… Thus, you can understand my confusion when I hear people telling me that what I am doing is an inspiration to them… In other words, I am their inspiration? Really?! Me?!

An inspiration is somebody like Pat Tillman… Here’s a man who gave up his life for something he believed in… What’s a greater gift than laying down your life for somebody else? Answer, NOTHING… Pat is an inspiration… He is something people should model their lives after… He is somebody that lived outside his 3 dimensional world-view and strived for something greater than himself…

Let’s get one thing straight… I do not, nor will I ever, view myself as an inspiration… All I am doing is following a desire that I have in my heart… The things that Martin Luther King Jr did are an inspiration… A woman that I have never meet except for reading her story on facebook that was told a year ago she will never walk again on her own refuses to never give up on her pursuit to prove all doctors wrong is an inspiration… But a man who is disciplined and resolute to achieving his goals shouldn’t be an inspiration… Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely flattered by all the compliments I have been given, but I am just a mere man trying to achieve a goal… Nothing different or grandiose when compared to 98 percent of the world…

Whew, now that I have that off my chest I can move on with the more exciting stuff… I am happy to report that the pain in my shoulder has receded to a manageable level and I am back to totally kicking ass at the gym… No more of this sissy crap… Dusty and I have radically changed my diet to such a ridiculous consumption of fish that I have contemplated starting my own fish farm to make mass feeding more efficient for me… HA HA!

But in all seriousness, this new diet is OUT OF CONTROL! So much so, that I have lost seven pounds in the first two days… It has allowed me to increase my overall weight lifting to such a ridiculous level that I am most definitely quite impressed… (Insert Ron Burgundy line here)…

This is exciting… I love the person I am becoming… The mottos that I have lived my life by are becoming the foundations of my everyday activities… In life there failure is not an option… There are too many things in life trying to destroy you and bring you down that if you settle for anything less than success you will fail… Thus, failure is NOT AN OPTION!

In the beginning of this blog I mentioned that I do not view myself as an inspiration and I am sure that this man doesn’t view himself as one either, but I have to say that being this close to show time Dusty’s guidance and direction have been paramount for me… He has opened my eyes to the window of my soul and shown me that you don’t have to be 5’3” to 5’4 ½” to succeed in this arena… I have not even stepped foot on stage yet and I already feel like the victor…

When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be. Patanjali

Desire, dedication, inspiration, and oxygen

Here we are, about two month’s out from my first stage competition and I have to say that I am extremely excited… It’s crazy to think that just a year ago I was no where close to where I am now… The progress I have made from then till now is like night and day, oil and water…

There is something great about the human spirit and its ability to overcome, to achieve, to strive for… A year ago I was about seventy or so pounds heavier and covered in more fat than a prime-rib… And I think it has been this transformation over the last year that has taught me, short old bald guys can still achieve a level of intensity and focus that younger full haired guys are known for…

I might not be the youngest or tallest guy on that stage come two months from now, but I can promise you I will be the most focused, determined, and efficient man standing there… And no matter the outcome of the show, I will leave the stage with my head held high…

It’s crazy to think that I have worked so hard and so long on sculpting my body… I guess you could compare this experience to that of a man climbing the tallest mountain… Two years ago when I thought about taking on this endeavor it seemed impossible, almost down-right ridiculous… And if it weren’t for the help of Dusty I am not sure I would have been able to reach this mountain top, and I am humbled that I have had the opportunity to have Dusty in my corner …

Now, to be clear, even though I have done a great deal of talking about having achieved such a feat, I want it to be clear that I have not peaked… For those of you who have climbed the San Francisco Peaks in Flagstaff, you know that there are two false peaks before you reach the final summit… This first show is like the first false peak…

I am by no means finished… My body is not maxed out, my mind is not emptied and my will is not dry… I have never in my life quit something before I have fully finished it and I am sure as oxygen not going to start now… Everyday at the gym is another stop at the gas station… I continually find a stronger love for the feeling I get when I work out… I guess it’s fair to say that there is something spiritual or other worldly about forcing my body beyond its previous restraints…

I hope by show time this love will be greater and my experiences will intensify, for this is not something I have taken lightly… I will not succumb to the pressures of success and I will destroy anything that gets in my way of my desires…

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Half way home, and Cheatings ok!!!

Being that my last blog was extremely heavy-hearted, I have decided to make this one a little less intense… One, because I am emotionally drained and two, the current going-on’s merit such a response…

A few weeks ago I talked about an “injury” I developed and its apt presence humbling my ever-growing body… Well, anybody remember the quote from the movie The Shinning where a crazed Jack Nicholson shouts through a broken wooden door “Here’s Johnny!” I most definitely heard that screaming in my head the day my shoulder pain beat down my wooden door, for a second time…

Oh, and what perfect timing! I have added on a second show November 5^th, 2011… The NPC Western Regional in Mesa, Arizona… and I have to say, I am extremely stoked…

I am not sure if it’s karma’s way of getting back at me, but I feel the same humbling sense coming over me again, which could be a blessing in the sky… Because of this reoccurring pain, I have added a weekly massage on top of Active Release Therapy (ART)… or in laymen’s terms… deep tissue massage… and let me tell you, these practices have shown me that rest and relaxation is extremely important… or, that I am not as young as I used to be…  aka “the old man needs his rest”…

 I feel as if in order for me to succeed at my next two shows I have to enter each one with a level head and clear expectations… How does one go about entering a show level headed and with clear expectations? THEY HAVE A CHEAT DAY!!!!

That’s right ladies and gents, this coming Friday I will be gorging myself of foods that most people take for granted… and one of the best parts about this cheat is the fact that the man, the myth, the legend Dusty Hanshaw okayed it. A moment that ALMOST brought a tear to my eye… and I say almost, because I am a man of little emotion…

My mind is full of thoughts that would make Willie Wonka jealous! In-N-Out, McDonalds, Cheesecake Factory, Red Robin, Burger King, milkshakes, pie, ice cream, brownies it’s like a never ending dance of deliciousness running through my mind… What is the front-running destination for this cheat day you ask? The land of the pazookie! That’s right Oregano’s is the leading vote getter… Following closely behind are Huston’s and Deluxe-Burger…

Together, both ART and Jeff’s being fat day have shown me that the level of dedication needed to participate in two different shows is a lot more intense then first thought… There are so many different intricate parts of the body, eating plan and work out plan needed to succeed that I really feel that as I get closer to these shows my level of focus and intensity increases to the necessary levels…

In memory of Robert Alan Berkowitz on his 70th birthday

There comes a time in every person’s life where they must sit down and evaluate their journey. Their journey through the valley depths as well as the mountain tops. So, being that I am forty years old I decided to make that the main focus of this blog entry. Why did I choose this show? Why did I choose body-building?

From the time I was a little kid I always looked up to my dad. As I am sure every little boy does, I both admired my dad and feared my dad… I say I feared my dad not in an “I don’t want to be near him” kind of way… Rather, I say it because he was such an intense personality… In other words, my dad had a stealthy way about him… You never really knew where you stood with him, but at the same time you did…

My family was never one for emotions… If you felt something you didn’t that share something… If you liked something you kept it to yourself… And I think part of that reason was because of my dad… Certain humans seem to have an ability to control a room of people without having to do or say a single thing… That was my dad… A man who had the ability to control people merely through his presence…

Never was this more visible then when he coached both my soccer and baseball teams… I think this is where I began to realize my dad’s effect on people… More specifically, his effect on me… My dad had a no BS approach to coaching… You showed up, worked hard, never gave up and did exactly what he said… It’s as if his motto to sports was “If you are here you have to be dedicated. If you aren’t dedicated, leave.” Both of my teams were extremely successful and this was in large part to him… He made my team’s one cohesive group… We were of one mind, one spirit and one body… I think I might have been too young to realize that, but looking back now I see that he was the glue that held everything together…

As time passed and I grew older I came to the realization that every young man has… I was becoming my father… For every young man this is a cognition that is terrifying and glorious at the same time… When you are younger the thought of being like your parents is ghastly… Mainly for the fact that they grounded you when your grades weren’t satisfactory or wouldn’t let you play outside after the sun went down… And for a while I felt this way… I wanted to be different; I wanted to be me…

Then on April 30^th, 2005 that ghastly young adult fear disappeared… Gathered around my father’s hospital bed, my family and I were given the decision of whether or not to continue my dad’s journey here on earth and to say this was an every day decision would be a disservice to my father’s memory… As my father’s last moments drew near I began to be more aware of my fondness for my dad, and to think that he would soon be gone destroyed me more than I ever thought possible…

He had a history of heart problems… When he was forty-years old my father underwent a triple bypass surgery, and it was this operation that would unexpectedly change the future of both my father and I… Before this surgery my father was told by his cardiologist something the effect of, “You have two choices either do the surgery, and add more years to your life… Or decide on a burial plot…” It’s never easy for anybody to come to the realization that they might be at the end of their lives… and it’s not any easier for one to hear their father is in danger of dying… Most people who are given this news would break down and become immobilized… My father, on the other hand, rose above… It was after this news that my father changed his way of living… No longer would he go a day without working out… No longer would he allow himself to engorge himself with artery clogging food… In a period of a year, my father went from a large 260 pounds to a lean 180 pounds… a heroic feat for many, but a necessity for him…

At around two o’clock in the afternoon on April 30^th, 2005 my family decided to let my father go… and it was in this moment that I decided that I needed to change my ways… My family has always had a history of heart problems and when looking down the barrel of life I didn’t want to see myself dying because I was out of shape… Things were going to be different… I was going to carry on where my dad left off…

I don’t really show nor express how my dad’s death has affected me, but to be honest it is a large part of who I am today… Everyday I decide that I am not going to lose control; that I am not going to give in to the easy way in life… My father always showed me that a man is supposed to be somebody who does not back down in the face of impossibility… A man is somebody who climbs above the crap circumstances that life seems to handout every so often…

My reasons and motivations for this current path are due in large part to my father’s memory… I will not allow my self to become blinded to the finish line… My dad always pushed me to succeed… Sometimes in a way that seemed unloving, but as a grown adult I see that it was his way of telling me that he loved me… and as his son this show, this new path in my life is my way of telling him how much I love him…

"The future doesn't just happen, it is created... Our destiny is not in the stars, but in ourselves. We may need to follow in the wake of those who have gone before, but what we do and where we go is ultimately up to us. The attitude of initiative is an on-going state of exploration that is never finished...a journey that never ends".

A Bump In the Road... Or a Pain in My Neck....

So for many of you whom are familiar with my nostalgic sayings know that I am quite fond of the catch phrase "Pain is weakness leaving the body.." Well, if I didn't believe in karma before this last week, I most CERTAINLY do now... About a week and a half ago, I was attending a diamondbacks game with some of my employees... About mid-way through the game I began to feel a sharp pain clawing its way through the ride side of my body... By the end of the game it had spread into the right side of my neck and the middle part of my shoulder...

Now, I don't know how many of you react to a pain like that, but for me, one of my first thoughts was "This can't be good.." My other thought?...I just figured it was weakness leaving my ever-growing body... And of course, I refused to see any kind of doctor or seek any kind of medical attention... Was that a good thing?! Eh, at first ya, but then the pain continued..

We all know that there are many kinds of addicts out there in the world today... You have your happy-hour addicts, your diet-pepsi addicts and your crackberry addicts... I having regrettingly become a tenz unit addict... My name is Jeffery Berkowitz and I have a problem...

Okay, well I am not completely an addict, but I am amazed at the pain relief given to my shoulder by this tenz unit... What is this tenz unit I speak of? It is a machine that, when connected to the pain filled area, sends an electrical blocking signal to the area's nerve endings... thus, blocking any pain that I might feel...

This newly found love for the tenz unit has caused me to question the very saying I live my life by, "Pain is weakness leaving the body." If I can't feel the pain because of the tenz unit does that mean the weakness hasn't left my body?

Eh, oh well... Good thing I don't wear the tenz unit when I work out... Don't worry Dusty, there is still a GREAT deal of weakness leaving my body... Don't believe me, just look at my before and after pictures...

Not only did I break down and use a tenz unit, I visited Amy Schmid... And let me tell you something, if there is a knot or pain in your body, she will find it and beat it into oblivion... Her Spartan-like approach to my afflicted area did the job for a couple days... I was able to exude a great deal of weakness during my next couple work outs...

Unfortunately, after those couple of workouts the pain returned and I was forced to get my musclar physique x-rayed... What did they find? The only conclusion they could conjure up is that I have a POSSIBLE bone spur on my C-6 vertabrae... News that most definitely added fuel to my fire...

In the past two years, I have ascended and climbed a ladder that many people have steered away from... From a path that leads to the greatest of destiny's... A destiny of a "Failure is No Option" mentality... I said the bone spur news added fuel to my fire and I meant that... It has given me insight into exactly what it means to not have the option of failing... Normally, such news could derail a persons love and dedication to competing in a body-building competition... As for me, it has turned me into a monster... A monster who is dedicated to my goal, to my vision, to the thing I love the most...

This news has shown me there is nothing greater in my life then my loyalty to the things and people I love... A human-being does not exist solely for the fact of completing mediocre everyday tasks. Instead, we exist to strive for goals that don't necessarily make sense to other people... To be so completely dedicated to something we see as greater than ourselves... I exist to strive for greatness with a mentality that I will never give up on the things I set before me... I exist to achieve a level of existential freedom that moves my soul to completion...

On the road to my show I will not fail...give up... or believe that my goals and aspirations are not acheivable... I am dedicated to doing what I love... And there is nothing, not even a little bone spur that can keep me from completion...

Week Two Climbing To The Top

So, it’s week two of twenty-one and I have to say that I am pleasantly surprised with my progress thus far. Part of the final hurdle in preparation for my first show was the locking-down of my diet. The newest diet that Dusty has put me on isn’t so different from my previous ones, except for one thing; THE CHEAT DAY. Prior to starting this final diet I was a little apprehensive about losing this ability to indulge in some of the most delightful of God’s creations. To those of you whom don’t know, I have a little bit of a sweet tooth. Don’t believe me? Almost every single cheat day you could find me at different valley restaurants gorging on some of the fattiest, artery clogging food anybody has ever seen. Upon my visits to the Cheese Cake Factory I would order a Smokehouse B.B.Q Burger made with smoked bacon, melted cheddar cheese, crispy onion rings, all covered in a zesty BBQ ranch sauce. To accompany my mount of deliciousness, I would order some mouth-watering sweet potato fries. Then, to top it off I would wash all that down with a delectable warm Godiva Chocolate Brownie Sundae. Now, just tell me that meal doesn’t sound like a good time. The only down side to consuming food in such a manner is its ability to steer me away from my goal. Being that I am only two weeks into my new diet I have to say that even though there are times I miss eating like a normal person I have not craved the sweets.

            In regards to my new work out plan, I have to say that Dusty never ceases to amaze me. Each new work out is like discovering a new part of an unexplored cave. My body is exploding with transformation and every time I leave the gym I can feel myself becoming more confident. Obviously, my body is sore and there are times when I get stuck trying to tie my shoes, but all the pain is worth it. As I sometimes like to say to those whom I give training advice to, “Pain is weakness leaving the body.”

It’s amazing to think that this time a year and a half ago I was nowhere near competing in a body-building contest. Intuitively, one might think that embarking on such a journey there is nothing to be gained from only eating certain foods, enduring certain amounts of ridiculous pain, but I have to say I completely disagree. There is nothing better than climbing the mountain of progress and I will not stop till I reach the peak.

·                                 “Set a goal to achieve something that is so big, so exhilarating that it excites you and scares you at the same time. It must be a goal that is so appealing, so much in line with your spiritual core, that you can't get it out of your mind. If you do not get chills when you set a goal, your not setting big enough goals."

~Bob Proctor~